Sharks Vs. Goldfish

Sharks, Goldfish, Whales ... what's the diff? The baby eats everything in sight.

On occasion, I shop at Aldi. There, I said it. Especially for baking products and commodities. And guess what? A lot people shop there. All walks of life, races and incomes. You will see a rich old lady in her floor-length mink coat and a working-class family both bagging their own off-brand groceries right next to each other. Oh those rich oldies — they’re the cheapest people on the planet!

OK, I’m being a little defensive and long-winded. My husband gave me some shit yesterday for bringing home “Sharks” cheese snackies for Ollie from the Aldis. They’re off-brand Goldfish, kind of like Stauffer’s Whales. It was an impulse buy. Still, personally, I think Goldfish are kind of lame. Pepperidge Farm constantly tries to make them cooler by adding flavors, “blasting” them with MORE flavor, dying them different colors and making them “healthy” by adding fiber (see “Cereal” for my thoughts on adding fiber to junk food). But when it comes down to it, they’re goldfish and goldfish have a reputation for being a carnie prize that ends up floating belly up after a day or two, which always ends in tears and having to explain death to a little kid. Innocence lost. Forever. Need I say more?

Sharks are a different story. Sharks are the badasses of the ocean. They have amazing senses, can swim fast and are fierce looking. And no one ever made a movie about a goldfish, let alone four! Another cool thing about Aldi’s Shark snacks is that they come in Great White and Hammerhead shapes. They’re virtually a oceanography lesson in a box of cheesy goodness!  Whatchu got, Goldie?!

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4 Responses to “Sharks Vs. Goldfish”


  1. 1 staci December 12, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Do you remember when we were in the Netherlands and saw an Aldi over there? It was like a super fancy Whole Foods or Dean & Deluca. Also, the dude who owns Aldi is one of top-10 richest people in the WORLD. (or up there) So, Aldi must be doing something right. Regarding the sharks, convincing argument. That being said, one of my cousins is a sales rep for Pepperidge Farm, so if you ever want/need cases of goldfish, let me know. I can probs hook you (and Ollie) up. 🙂

  2. 2 Da da shh December 14, 2009 at 9:53 am

    I now fully endors-al these swimmingly delicious treats.

  3. 3 Joe November 2, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    I’m enjoying some Savoritz Sharks right now!

  4. 4 shhmanx@yahoo.com October 10, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Word on the street is that they are replacing them with Penguins. Ugh.


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