List-o-Matic

I’m feeling like a list. So much to discuss and I just don’t feel like being all formal and paragraph-y today.

  • Designer diaper craze – big thumbs down. It’s expensive enough diapering kids and in this recession, who has the disposable (tee hee) income these days to spend on something no one sees and is going in the trash any second anyway? Related: Do you use store-brand diapers? Are they just as good? Because I’m seriously thinking about giving them a whirl.
  • Boo Gwen! My fave Kanuck mommy blogger Kelly Oxford called the Hollaback Girl out on her “gross” parenting style that includes leaving her children and their nanny in her dust while she does important shit (aka carry a CVS bag and a giant designer purse). Is this petty hating or do you think Gwen is a high maintenance mama, too?
  • Kickin’ it Old Skool – Those “Silly Bandz” or whatever the kids are wearing? Totally, well, silly. In my day (this is when I tell a story about growing up in the ’80s), we MADE our own bracelets with this stuff called YARN! And get this, we gave them away as a gesture of friendship (hence the name “friendship bracelets“). That was our trend. Our trend is better than your trend, dear children of 2010.
  • Nicknames Galore – I love nicknames for my toddler. When he was a baby, I liked using silly foodie names like Peanut Pickle. But we’ve evolved a little and now it’s Little Tiny Boy (LTB for short) and Shyster (when he’s in trouble) – and any one of the three Bs: Bubba, Buddy and Bubby. What do you call your kid? Or, do you have a nickname that stuck since you were a kid?
  • Blackberries – The fruit, not the smartphone. Olz is crazy for them. Nom nom nom.
  • Favorite Mommy Tweeps – I am obsessed with funny/cool moms in cyberspace – so quotable:

@diablocody: “Tried out new breast pump; it’s mesmerizing. I haven’t seen such brisk, robotic nipple-suckage since ‘Wild Things.'”

@kellyoxford: “My favorite part of leaving a “your baby is cute” comment on facebook is getting the notifications when everyone else lies, too.”

@jesshopp: “Chicago is avg like, 20-50 shootings a wknd and now, a couple stabbings @Taste? I’m adding a taser to my baby registry.”

@TheSuperVixen: “Any moms have good tips on how to get shit done after the kids are in bed?? Shower? Coffee? B12 shot? Cocaine? I need some inspiration.”

  • Kiddie Dinnerware Score – Ollie has his own cabinet space for dinnerware, sippy cups, etc. and enough plates and bowls to last him through junior high. But for 74 cents each, I got two matching kids’ plates with a banana seat bicycle pattern and a clear mug (looks just like a beer mug) with shake-y glitter inside. There was no talking me out of it.
  • Hair Wars – Starting to get the “when are you going to cut his hair?” question from people. As a rule, if J and I are in any way pressured to conform, we decidedly rebel. At 32. Just like at 15. But the real reason I won’t cut Ollie’s hair is because it’s redonkulous. If your hair was golden blonde with the faintest tint of strawberry, soft x 10 with sweet lil curls and you couldn’t speak for yourself, I think you’d appreciate it if people would please leave your shit alone. Am I the only one who gets harassed about inconsequential stuff like this?
  • Kelis – The first jam “4th of July (Fireworks)” from her new album “Flesh Tone” is pretty dance-able and saxxy. She’s a MILF’s MILF. And a hot bitch. Review here. What are you listening to this summer?

Also, regarding that collage? I made it. It’s purposely bad. At least that’s my official statement about it.

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